"You are the average of the 5 people you're around the most."
Take a moment to stop and think about the people you are around the most often. 5 doesn't necessarily need to be the magic number. These are the people influencing your lives the most, even if it is so subtle you don't realize it just yet. Of course everyone is an individual and we've all seen the commercials swearing off "peer pressure" so don't read this the wrong way. It's not saying you do what others do necessarily. (Although must women have a girlfriend who makes her husband shudder when he hears they're going shopping together- he knows to expect damage on the finances when she's around, that's just the way it is!) P.S.- This isn't always a bad thing!
I convey this theory to real life in the following (true life!) story.
As a high school senior, I found myself making decisions about my life path on a consistent basis, as most do. However while other girls were deciding on outfits and dates and college courses to take, I was deciding on living in misery with my mother or fight the world on my own at the tender age of 17. Before I graduated, I packed my belongings and moved out with a few friends. Being around my mother, her boyfriend and younger brother was bringing me down to a point that my life was not pushing forward. Had I stayed, I would have risked falling into a pattern of arguing, severe unhappiness and what I feared most- the lack of will to succeed. So I stepped out. The situation I stepped into however, presented challenges of its own. As you can imagine, 3 girls just weeks away from high school graduation can build a pretty unstable and irresponsible place to thrive. After a couple months, I had another decision to make. Was consistent intoxication and partying like rockstars getting me where I wanted to be? Nope. I stepped out again. A couple years after that, I was once again at a crossroad, and as one naturally wants to progress their life, to always be achieving greatness, I had to make the decision yet again. This time, I left behind a relationship that was crippling me to seek a greater love and passion for myself, my future and my life. I had stepped out yet again and will still back my decision 100%.
Now that I am married with children, I can look back and see how each step brought me closer to life happiness and success. By re-evaluating my "top 5" in each scenario, I was able to reach the heights of the life I wanted. I have a better understanding of what influences my moods, my priorities, my relationships- and I know that constantly being around people who share the same supreme happiness in Life and Love gives my own quest credibility and stamina, a will to succeed. Just like being around people enjoying the same things can bring comfort and greatness to your life, being around those who don't care to be in your happy place can bring on irritation, resentment and self doubt.
Being newlyweds, you two have now become one. Perhaps before, you were each other's number 1 person. Together, you are now a team and your "top 5" is joined together. Throughout your marriage, goals and ideas, desires and needs will change and evolve. Being mindful of your "average" and knowing if and when to substitute is key to a successful, supremely happy existence. Here are some examples of premium substitutions that may lift you out of slumps and dig you out of ruts!
- Two-faced/backstabbing, gossiping co-workers for the quiet new girl eating lunch alone
- Jack and Jill who battle one another relentlessly in your presence for Jim and Sally who enjoy being on each other's side, most of the time anyways!
- Your husband/wife bashing friend always encouraging you to join the "fun" for another who is most interested in chatting you up about the latest sports and entertainment equip.
Knowing yourself and how each person in your life affects you will make upkeep on your top 5 a successful piece of your foundation, both as a person and as a partner!
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